(no subject)

I don't like this person I'm turning into, just obsessed with buying clothes and selling everything to scrape some money to buy more stuff. I hate having an addictive personality and that I become obsessed with so much. And now it's Lolita. I don't even care about my recovery anymore, just clothes. I can't believe I'm spending so much on clothes, it's just ridiculous. I'm so tight fisted with everything else but now I think nothing of giving £130 or more on a dress. Arghh help me! 

I was reading the little essay on the Kamikaze Girls' website and parts of it really hit home.  ''the clothing becomes a surrogate friend...so maybe the style is tied into escape'  I completely related to this. It's almost like, Lolita is the thing I concentrate on to escape. To try and put my mind off my deterioating(sp?) mental health. It's very sad but I think Lolita has become 'my friend' almost. I have friends, some really lovely ones, but I still feel really lonely. 
  • Current Mood
    worried worried

(no subject)


Had a crappy day today. Gave in my C.V to Sam & Maxie's and Frankie's & Benny's. I reeeaallly need money. I'll ask about a paper round at the newsagents when I get the chance.

Still need to pay $345 of my Celga order of like a million shoes. I've paid $480 already. eek. I need my money from the eBay auctions to come in nooow. People are slow at paying =| It's really annoying. I'm going to buy a btssb dress for $250 aswell soon so I gotta make money fast again. Might buy an Angelic Pretty dress for $200 aswell...ahh why am I doing this? When I start properly earning money again I WILL pay everyone back slowly. At end of August I might participate in a btssb group order using some of my birthday money =] hopefully the things I want will still be in stock. I only want a few bows but they sell out really fast. I might buy a JSK aswell, depends.I might have to sell the pink pair of the ribbon shoes if I still need more money, but I really don't want to :( I love the shoes! Argh. Hopefully as a birthday present mum will get some bits and bobs from Metamorphose, there's a few pairs of socks I want on there, and a hairbow. Oh dear this fashion is taking over me.

I'm meeting some Lolitas tomorrow in London for a photo shoot >.< I'm really nervous actually. I've not got much to wear as I've sold most of my stuff and I've got like a billion things coming in the post but they haven't arrived yet, which is really annoying. I'm just going to wear my white btssb blouse, pink btssb jumperskirt, white lace Metamorphose socks, pink Berry Berry btssb shoes, pink Angelic Pretty tote bag, White Innocent World head bow and my white Metamorphose parasol. Hopefully I won't look like a complete idiot. I know I'm going to feel so fat though, as I've put on a ton of weight recently, all my fucking bingeing =| I need to diet again NOW. After tomorrow I really have to start taking some action =| 

What I'm waiting for:
1. Babyssb blue parfait jumperskirt
2. Babyssb order - White Rosie shoes and pink socks
3. Angelic Pretty cherry print jumperskirt
4. Metamorphose pink lovely alphabet socks
5. White fanplusfriend crown bag
6. 5 pairs of Angelic Pretty shoes - when I pay Celga fully

Ughhhhh. I need more money.


  • Current Music
    Evanescence - call me when you're sober

(no subject)

Okay. I got an email from Celga and they have bought two pairs of AP pre-order shoes but they have bought two pairs of the ribbon shoes =| *sigh* why has this got to be so stressful? I made pretty clear, in capitals, that I wanted the white ribbon shoes and the pink crown shoes. But now I've got a pair of ribbon shoes in white and pink. He's also going on about the tea party shoes in pink, wtf? I asked for the tea party shoes in white, again in capitals. So yeah, I'm happy that I've got at least some of the shoes, but I hope that I actually have the tea party shoes and that he's not just confusing me because i really am confused now =S If I don't get the crown shoes it's not such a big deal, I love them but I'd prefer to get the tea party shoes instead.

Ugh. stressssss. I might end up with 4 bloody pairs of shoes now =| And I've got so btssb shoes coming in the mail. oh dear...

UPDATE: Oh. my. god. Right ok, I now have 5 PAIRS of Angelic Pretty shoes. =| I mean, I love them but...AHH! I'm going to have to raise money FAST. thank god it's my birthday soon. 
So now, Keigo has ordered me:
2 pairs of tea party shoes, pink and white
2 pairs of ribbon shoes, pink and white 
1 pair of crown shoes, pink

hahahahahahahahaa oh god this is going to cost me a bloody fortune. Time to sell stuff......

  • Current Mood
    exhausted exhausted

shopping addiction...

Okay. I think I might have a shopping problem when it comes to Lolita. 
What I have spent/ordered etc recently:

1. Using Celga to buy Angelic Pretty Tea Party shoes (£67) Angelic Pretty Crown Shoes (£67) and Angelic Pretty Ribbon Shoes (£67) Total of shoes is £201 including fees is £234 including shipping is £250~ PAID
2. F+F Crown Bag order - bag and shipping equal to £36~ PAID
3. Baby the stars shine bright blue parfait jumperskirt - £147 with shipping PAID
4. Baby the stars shine bright white blouse - £61 with shipping PAID
5. Baby the stars shine bright order for Rosie shoes and pink socks - equal to £136 with shipping and bank transfer fees PAID

TOTAL : £630


Luckily I'll be able to get my parents to pay for the Babyssb order because it is my birthday...and I'm selling stuff like hell to try and get some more money to cover the Celga order. It'll be okay, after all of this I'll have lots of Loli items and I won't be spending a lot as I want to get an iPod and stuffs. It'll be okay...*prays*

(no subject)

Things I need to do/ things I'm waiting for:

1. Send off Metamorphose socks to the US and Demonia boots to Australia tomorrow
2. Receive shipping confirmation for the white crown F+F bag order and send payment
3. Pay Btssb and send them an email letting them know I've paid
4. Receive invoice from Celga for white AP tea party shoes and ask them to reserve the AP ribbon shoes in white size L and the AP crown shoes in pink size L on the 5th August
5. Trade Metamorphose sailor OP for AP cherry JSK
6. Sell my innocent world black headbow
7. Put more stuff on ebay
8. Buy Laura's birthday present
9. Find out whether I've got the Btssb blue parfait JSK
10. Organise Alton Towers for my birthday
  • Current Mood
    stressed stressed


ive got lots of crappy things to say today because i havent written in a wihle. so i thought id do this quiz which i stole off laura's live journal to lighten the mood a bit. for now haha.

Pick your favorite band (or one of your favorites, it's hard to
choose!) and then answer the survey using only their song titles:


1. Are you male or female?
hello??? :(

2. Describe yourself...
Everybody's fool

3. How do some people feel about you?

4. How do you feel about yourself?

5. Describe your bf/gf/crush...
Taking over me

6. Where would you rather be?
further away

7. Describe what you want to be...
anything for you

8. Describe how you live...
before the dawn

9. Describe how you love...
even in death

10. Share a few words of wisdom...
listen to the rain...ahem
  • Current Music
    Katy Rose - lemon